December 29th, 2012 by Matthew Thurber
DAMN, my Mom bumped me up to first class yesterday after a successful howlidaze voyage full of actual family love and the innate skepticism of this comics strip makes me feel like shit for sooooooooooooooooooo enjoying the cup of soup I had during my return flight, knowing that the local coach travelers hadn’t a bag of Lays in their respective laps. I reckon the only way to purify my existential prayer bowl is to drain my bowels of the in-flight snacks.
Of course, that won’t take long. Neither will my question:
1/4 of the way through my flight, the morning’s Joe caught up with me and I used the WC, with the full joy reserved for capriciously desecrating “the captain’s quarters”….the sink was full of Han-di-wipes, not water, nor empty space. The piss was automatically sussed away with the same speed and generosity of the lavatory decreed suitable for the coach traveler. My only qualm came when I discovered that the internet costed twice as much as a land-bound can of soda and as such I had to reserve my reading of this moment’s INFOMANIACS installment for my eventual bedroom slouching, on Earth’s honest surface. If I were to read this comic while airborne, would the humor tickle me all the more? Assuming the strip was drawn while land-bound, I can only assume that physical elevation would increase the pleasure of on-screen gag-consumption, but because of inevitable tooth decay, my howlidaze gift-currency can only be spread so far.
POINT BEING: I would love to book a flight for every week, so that once I reach a safe elevation for using electronic devices, I could devour the strip to it’s maximum. It might involve a lifestyle change to afford this luxury but my sneaking suspicion is that such leaps of faith are nearly as necessary as snakes are upon this green orb. LET ME KNOW cause this strip is the fucking BOMB, although I would hesitate to utter such a word within earshot of security, they have already confiscated my ink, insisting that I might as well use a keyboard and screen nowadays, if I’m too dumb to buy a proper zip-lock. Which of course I am.
Dear 12B, thank you for your comment. Perhaps you should look into a career as a flight attendant which would give you the opportunity to read all kinds of comics with proper perspective, at a safe distance from the Earth.
I didn’t mean to make you feel any guilt whatsoever about enjoying your in flight snacks! You gotta take whatever you can get in those circumstances. I feel the loss of your ink bottle…that sux!!
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Musings from cartoonists and artists Matthew Thurber and Rebecca Bird. Matthew is the author of 1-800 MICE and Bird is a painter and musician based in Brooklyn.
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